How to Take Care of Your Teeth

By Chip and Tartar Cavity

“‘Ello, there!  Chip Cavity here with my bro, Tartar, and we are here to explain to you how to take care of your teeth. “

“Right, first you NEVER need to use a toothbrush!  That instrument is one of the worst tools ever invented!  If your mom tells you that you need to brush your teeth with your toothbrush, look at her and roll your eyes – those “toothbrushes” are just a ploy to get you to do something other than watch TV. “

“Now, if your mom insists on watching you brush your teeth, the best thing to do is run around screaming –“

“Ahem!  Excuse me!  What is going on here?”

“Oh, ummm…’ello Toothpaste Avenger.  ‘Ow you be?”

“Well, I bet I’m a lot better than you two toothless monsters.  What are you telling your audience?  Are you explaining how to brush their teeth to them?”

“Why, in fact we are, sir!  We were just telling them – ooof!  What’d you go an’ nudge me in the ribs for, Chip?  I was just going to tell the Toothpaste Avenger that the best way to brush your teeth is to not–“

“Ah, what he is about to say is that brushing your teeth with a toothbrush is a must, Toothpaste Avenger.”

“Well, Chip, Tartar is absolutely correct!  In fact, try to even have fun while doing it – hum a song like ‘Happy Birthday’ or ‘The Wheels on the Bus’ while you brush your teeth.  It’s a lot of fun to see if you can make it through an entire song without spitting your toothpaste out.”

“Hahahahahaha!  That is hilarious Toothpaste Avenger!  Where did you learn how to do that?”

“As it turns out Tartar, I have a lot of tricks up my sleeve like that one.  Did you know that a great way to fight bad breath is get a little bit of mouth wash and dilute it with water and then try swishing it around in your mouth and squeeze it out of your teeth into the sink?  Sometimes it can get a bit messy, but if you have a towel close by, it’s easy to clean up.”

“Whoa!  Toothpaste Avenger, that sounds like a lot of fun!  We should try that Tartar.”

“I agree, Toothpaste Avenger, do you have any mouthwash?”

“I sure do.  You monsters can definitely stand to use some.  When was the last time you brushed?”

“Ah, come on Toothpaste Avenger, you know us.  We try to avoid brushing our teeth as much as possible.  Until you came along, it just wasn’t fun.”

“I can see, and smell.  Tell you what, why don’t you two try what I’ve suggested for two weeks and let’s see if your oral health improves.  Then, we can come up with some other great ideas that you and our audience can try at home.  In the meantime, hum some songs while you brush and play with mouthwash.  Check out the list of fun songs to hum below!”

“Righty-o Toothpaste Avenger.  Maybe I’ll even try flossing too!”

“Very good idea, Tartar.  Very, very good idea.”

A Few Fun Songs to Hum with a Mouthful of Toothpaste:

Wheels on the Bus

Who Stole the Cookies from the Cookie Jar?

Pop, Goes the Weasel

Three Blind Mice

Brush Your Teeth, Cha-Cha-Cha-Cha

Baby Beluga

If You’re Happy and You Know

Apples and Bananas

Great Green Gobs

Take Me Out to the Ballgame

Down by the Bay

For more ideas check out the following websites: